First, here's a women's guide to defending yourself against a male attacker. These are the top five self-defense techniques I found:
1. Mace is very effective. So are stun guns, tasers, and batons. Luckily, I think all of these household items can be picked up at your local Walmart. The site also recommends that you "practice" them. I am going to veto this idea.
2. Keep space between you and your attacker. If your attacker is on top of you, use all your force to push them off. I also believe this would be an appropriate time to utilize the stun gun, taser, baton, and mace you have conveniently stored in your purse.
3. Go for the eyes. Not only should mace find its way into your attackers eyes, but so should your fingers! Specifically, thumbs. Jab those babies right in there, and "press in as though you were launching his eyeballs way out of his skull." Beautiful.
4. Kicking is good! Two great places to kick: groin (common sense) and knees. The site suggests that a swift kick to the groin will successfully take down your attacker. However, a kick to the throat will provide a nice touch also. Apparently, high heels come in handy in this sort of defense. Fortunately, not only will you be kicking butt, you will look gooood doing it.
5. Elbows. Elbow that attacker right in the stomach. Or in the throat. If your attacker is very fat or has a very thick neck, this may not be the best technique for you.
Also under this category, I found this website that has more great tips, and also a site where you can buy hot pink mace! A must-have in every girls handbag if I do say so myself.
http://www.squidoo.com/self-defense-products-for-women
Secondly, here's some tips for men that could aid them in defending themselves against male attackers. I know this probably offends some of you macho men out there, but outside the mean streets of Chag. Falls you never know what could happen.
1. If the attacker asks for your wallet, cell phone, or any other possession, hand it over. Mommy will buy you a new iPhone 4. She can't if you're dead.
2. They also suggest pepper spray, tasers, and batons for men. May I also suggest a lovely murse (man-purse) to carry these lovely belongings in? And if the pink mace doesn't tickle your fancy, I'm sure you can find a pretty purple or green somewhere else!
3. Learn martial arts. Schedule an appointment with Jillian, perhaps?
4. Appear strong. Most of you do this on a daily basis, so you can probably skip this tip.
5. You can fight your attacker if that's what it comes to. A few things you can do: grab their hair and smash their face with your knee. I am not responsible for the blood stains on your designer jeans. Punch the attacker very hard in the nose. Please don't hurt your fist in this process. This is a personal tip, but I think if someone grabs you it's always effective to do the "dead weight" technique where you just basically go limp and don't hold up or control any of your limbs. Very fun and very effective.
I considered posting about men getting attacked by women, but when I looked it up online I only found cases of domestic abuse. I'm thinking right now no one really needs some tips protecting them from their angry spouse.
I hope all of these tips were very helpful and one day you can protect yourself from a potential attacker with no problem! Plus, the fact that you even educate yourself with this information means you're one step ahead of Clive! Bravo!
